The Closing Act of 2010

Its here again.. the festive spirit, the Christmas carols, the New year resolutions lists, the madness and the anticipation for the days to come.. 

It hit me last night that this year is almost done with. I went down memory lane to think about all the things that this year got to the plate.. made me frown, teary eyed, and finally smile. I totally understand that one should look at the brighter side of life, but common.. how can you possibly appreciate the better if you don't acknowledge the worse...

Personally, this year totallyyyy started on the wrong foot for me.. I was jobless, insecure, heart broken, frustrated and unsure about how things were going to pan out.. I remember that the year had just started off and I couldn't wait for it to be over..I was pushed to my threshold limit of frustration but I did manage to keep a cheerful front. It was getting harder to look at myself and reassure myself that it will all be ok.. Things will work out.. This too shall pass.. picture abhi baaki hai.. and all those other motivational things.. 

I am not sure exactly when things began to change and get better.. but I know it wasn't overnight. Now, I am at the last leg of the year..and surprisingly I am not complaining. Things did work out, my heart did heal (more or less), I did get a job, my visa got approved and to make things better, it wasn't just for me.....My friends also had good things falling in place. I have no guilt in being happy.. coz I am happy not just for myself. 

It's the closing act of 2010 that has been particularly interesting and worthwhile. It started off will small things and finally, every person I love deeply had good news to share. Be it about long awaited jobs, expecting mothers, new love, weddings, or just a simple family re-union..the smiles spread.. and they spread far and wide :)

To take all this happiness to another level, I get to spend my Christmas and New Years(hopefully) with people I care about most deeply. I get to laugh, smile and enjoy with those who have seen me at my worst and have taken my hand to lead me here. 

Here's to hoping everyone gets to their happy place..

Thank you 2010.. your closing act has been spectacular and has me looking forward to 2011. 

Signing off for the year....Cheers :)

Post Bootcamp

First of, I really did not think anyone was reading all my jabber.. and yesterday someone actually asked me why I haven't updated my blog :)..So.. here it is...

I did it.. I made it to all my bootcamp classes and walked out slightly leaner and lot wiser. Honestly, the major thing that bootcamp did for me is that it gave me the confidence that even I can do it. Its possible.. I can make it happen and that's what am going to stick to. For a person as lazy as myself, imagining working out as part of my routine was hilarious. But then, all it takes is that one FIRST step towards what you want.. and things begin to happen like magic. 

With the help of a very undeterred friend, I managed to find a diet that works for me..and with the help of my lovely credit card I managed to find a gym that will help me burn my love handles :). The one thing I managed to do all by myself was to "accept" the fact that I am wayyy over my ideal weight and that it was unacceptable. 

NO, its not ok to look double my age..NO, its not ok to weight as much as I want when I am beautiful from within.. and NO, its not ok to believe that its too late to do anything about it. I can not allow my busy schedule, or lack of time or anything else for that matter to be an excuse for not taking my first step. Like my friend said.. Trying to do it and doing it are two different things...and I am determined to do it!

I made myself a milestone.. to weigh 7-8lbs lighter in 11 days.. and YES its possible. I have taken it upon myself  to control my urge to indulge and move my ass to the gym despite the cold weather. Starting today, I am going to dedicate 2hrs of my time at the gym, either mornings, evenings or both (if I have to).. and I am hell bent upon looking like a 1000 bucks (to start with..)  :)

This post feels more like a pledge to me than anything else... lol..

Either ways.. my calender is marked for December 23rd and I am going to kill, if I have to keep up the promise I made to myself... and yeah now that am posting it on a public blog.. am pretty sure.. I am going to do everything to save my face as well ;)

Here's to a million possibilities..

Cheers :)

The End...or is it?

I am coming very close to the last session at bootcamp. Another 2 classes to go and I am done with my course. What have I learnt? How much have I lost? What will I do now? and so many other questions are coming to my head...In the beginning I really did not imagine that I would be unhappy to be done with these classes.. but I am.. 

What have I learnt...

I expressed my disappointment with my instructor that I haven't lost as much weight as I hoped for in the beginning and yet I am a couple of sizes down. He laughed at me ( I don't see why it was funny though). He explained to me that there is a difference between being lean and weighing less.. Being lean does not essentially mean you have lost weight. It puzzles me as to how you have shrink in size and yet the scale wont budge!  He gave a long and gruesome explanation about muscle and fat, their differences and how converting your fat to muscle should be your ultimate goal. Build muscle and that burns more cals.. sounds great.. but I don't want to build muscle.. all I want is to loose weight.. I don't want to train to go win a body builder's title.. really.. I DON'T! (Apparently that's the part he found funny). It so happens that when you say "build muscle" it doesn't mean you become a giant ass body builder.. who would have thunk! He asked me to choose what I want.. to look leaner and toned or to weigh less! I still can't accept that they mean different things and I guess after this "enlightenment".. I am not sure what I want.. yet..

How much have I lost...

If you are expecting me to post numbers and claim how much I have lost.. well.. I am not! I guess its obvious at this point that I haven't lost much.. and so the frustration and confusion and disappointment etc etc.. but I did shrink sizes.. does that count? I dunno!

What will I do now..

Honestly, at this point..I really need to sit down and think what is it that I want really.. look lean or weigh less.. (How on earth can they be different!!!!!). I know one thing for sure... I am not going to stop what I started. I will workout just as religiously as I was.. except that I would balance out both weight training and cardio. End of the day.. I am human.. and I want both things.. why should I choose and settle for one ;)

As far as my diet is concerned.. I have such major plans for Christmas and New Year's that I can't afford to indulge now. So, am stocking my pantry with "healthy" food options.. 

Biggest realization: Loosing weight is not for the weak heart.. It requires a lot of patience and every single pound lost is an achievement.. If there are any of you.. who are struggling just as I am..then.. pls.. don't give up.. If I can manage to do it.. anyone can.. (yes..I am that lazy ;) )

Just Not Enough!

I was beginning to wonder my self when I would go to my next class. Because of the over-whelming response to bootcamp.. almost all classes last week were over booked and I got into only one.. :( I got wiser this week and made reservations for all my classes :)

6 classes later my weight loss is really not as remarkable as I had hoped for and honestly, I am to blame for that. I had an out of the world weekend, less than considerable workout last week and more than required cravings. Sometimes I wonder, why having control over your own self and your cravings is sooo difficult.. but I guess in theory that's just the sign of a weak mind.. and in reality.. thats just human.. My workout for the last two days was remarkable. I can see how much I changed (not in terms of lbs... though). I can run a little longer before am gasping for breath, I can enjoy the aching muscles without cribbing, I can walk by a place with Indian food aroma and not give in, I can buy donuts and cupcakes for work and not have any.. I'd like to think.. thats considerable.. 

Honestly, seeing the way I was sweating my way through bootcamp, I really thought weight loss was going to be much faster than it is now.. Its disappointing to see my body, being a total bum about it. I was watching this show "The biggest Loser" last night and was shocked to see how much people achieved. 100lbs lighter in 8 weeks.. thats unbelievable.. but true.. It was inspiring to see people who weighed beyond imagination.. and at a age of 43-45 to have that kind of a will power. I'd like to think that its easier for me and less strenuous for me to achieve a target.. but that just sounds like am going easy on myself. 

I happen to realize that... the amount of work I am putting in with bootcamp and the diet regulations I have made is just not enough. It took me 25yrs to get to where I am... and although I wish the results showed overnight.. its not going to happen. On that note, I went and flashed my credit card at the closest YMCA here. One hour workout at bootcamp.... at the end of which I walk out with a sweaty shirt and a feeling that it was an awesome workout.. is just not enough.. I need to do more to weigh less. Its been a disappointing week for me to know that whatever I thought was remarkable.. was just not enough. 

For all those of you, who are struggling with their weight.. hang in there.. picture abhi baaki hai :)

Here's an article I thought was interesting, if you are thinking the way I am.. 

http://www.crossroadsbootcamp.com/resistance-training-separating-fact-from-fiction/

Cheers :)

Three is a crowd

Third day at bootcamp :) I think with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up.. almost everyone in town has gotten health conscious.. Wasn't fun to watch a huge crowd panting and sweating.. kinda grose infact. Either ways, the session was a real good one.. I am getting a grip over my own body and how far I can push myself without an injury. I am loving it :) 

Piece of free advise to those who want to check-in for such workouts.. you'd rather want to prepare yourself a little before this jump start. A simple jog for 10 mins a day would also do the trick. If you are more an indoor person... try spot jogging/running in your room or even better walk up and down the stairs couple of times a day.  You end up being sore a little bit but atleast your body knows what to expect. For most people, I would assume the most difficult part is to get started.. and then things happen like a charm and so is the case with me.. I think this is where the whole determination part fits in.. you have to "want" to do it.. or you'll just end up quitting the next chance you get. 

So three sessions later, I went and bought a new pair of jeans :) Am down a size.. and god it feels good :) Although, I must admit..it wasn't all the bootcamp that did the magic, I had to and still am watching what I eat very carefully. Its important. Apparently, it takes 3500 burnt calories to lose one pound.. so it goes without saying that you want to.. have to.. get to the 3500 mark despite your usual diet. 

Well, end of the day.. I am a size down and am thrilled.. :) and that is all that matters.

Happy Diwali :)

After day 2 @ Bootcamp!

I made it to the second session.. yayyyy.. that being the only bright side to it.

If someone ever told you that all it takes to loose weight is disciple/commitment/diet changes/workout.. trust me.. they are just giving you the sweet version of it all.. It takes the ability to withstand a lotttt of freaking pain.. no one ever tells you that... and why should they?.. who would possibly want to sound like a sissy who can't handle pain...well, I really don't care what this sounds like.. but god!!!! it hurts... 

In my mind, there are pictures rolling by, of all the times I carelessly ate.. hogged rather.. samosas, dosas, panner, parathas, ice creams, milkshakes, pizzas, beer pongs, shots.. and what not.. coming to think of it.. no wonder I have to work so much to loose it all. 

I always felt shy (yes.. shy.. hard to believe huh?) going to a gym.. I kept telling myself that the "only" reason I wouldn't go to a gym is to save myself the embarrassment of working out with skinny sorority chicks.  Well, if you are telling yourself the same thing.. haha.. welcome to the club.. but sorry to burst your bubble, its just plain bullshit... and honestly, you'll have to grow a pair to admit that to yourself. 

So anyways, my second session was a huge reality check for me. It was shocking to see myself gasp for breath within seconds.. My fitness levels: ZERO! 

Fitness apparently has nothing to do with how much you weigh, coz the saving grace for me last night was to see so-called skinny chicks also gasping for breath :D 

I suddenly realized why the skinny ones work out so hard in a gym.. It has nothing to do with maintaining their weight, loosing it or gaining it.. Its all about trying to be fit (however cliche that might sound). You have to try it just once to understand it. 

My plight as of now,  is rather hilarious to the ears and eyes than it is to me.. Because my body suddenly had to wake up from its stagnant state and actually do something, its not really a happy camper. I can not begin to explain how it feels like. It takes a struggle for me to sit down and a bigger struggle to stand up. Every step i take, I can feel my muscles flex.. I came walking to work this morning, coz it was close to impossible for me to get into my car and drive. Funny part was when my boss (over 60yrs) offered to help me walk. Am I happy after day 2...No!! Am I going to Quit? HELL NOOO! 

Aside all the cribbing and pain, I am glad to have taken the first step. I can see it now.. its not going to be easy.. its true what everyone said about bootcamp.. its not for the weak  heart... but my desire to get better is stronger than my desire to make the pain go away (for now :) )..

Confessions of a lazy person working out

It's been a day since I joined the very talked about new thing in town - Bootcamp!

People told me its not something for me, its hard, there is no way I would survive it.. etc etc.. and given that I am human, ofcourse it got me curious.. what the hell is all the jazz about bootcamp.. why is everyone making such a big deal abt it...and why on earth would "I" not survive it??! So, yes... I went there, flashed my credit card, and got registered for the 12 sessions.

Tina, was real sweet. She told me that its a joke, as to how people are filled with all these opinions about bootcamp being hard and rough and not for ones like me (read as - fat and lazy and someone who loves pizzas).

So finally the D-Day was here (yesterday) and I made it to my first session :). I was proud of myself that after working all day, I was still committed enough to drive for 30mins just to get a workout (which according to Tina.. is no big deal really!)...

The class was about bootcamp with boxing training.. I laughed to myself and thought..boxing!!..haha that should be easy.. after all I am big/huge/fat/whatever..I will be able to punch the living crap out of anything..

One hour later.. I was literally on the floor, struggling to breathe, sweating like a pig and pink in the face (for someone with a tanned skin tone like me.. pink usually doesn't show.. "usually")..cramps in my stomach and tears in my eyes...It hit me then, as to why the name bootcamp sounded familiar! I heard it previously, in context to military and the basic training they make the candidates go through!! I looked for Tina.. hmm.. for a long time..

The instructor told me that since it was first intensive workout class, I "might" be a little sore later.. but "it's no big deal".. it happens all the time..

For some reason, the same 30 min drive back home seemed like it took forever..

Almost 24 hrs after my first session, here I am.. unable to lift a coffee cup or write without cribbing about how my muscles hurt and how much pain I am under..and yet I find myself looking forward to my next session tonight! I was pretty sure last night, that I would walk up to Tina, and ask her for my money back..This was not what I signed up for!.... but what the hell.. this is really the first time, that someone has pushed me to my limits (physically).. and somewhere in the back of my mind, I remember the saying - No pain, no gain.. Sounds great on paper and in my head.. I am only 1 session down.. 11 more to go...

So, heres to me.. and my sincere effort (so far) to make a difference for myself (Yes, am selfish.. who's not! ;) )..

Cheers!