The End...or is it?

I am coming very close to the last session at bootcamp. Another 2 classes to go and I am done with my course. What have I learnt? How much have I lost? What will I do now? and so many other questions are coming to my head...In the beginning I really did not imagine that I would be unhappy to be done with these classes.. but I am.. 

What have I learnt...

I expressed my disappointment with my instructor that I haven't lost as much weight as I hoped for in the beginning and yet I am a couple of sizes down. He laughed at me ( I don't see why it was funny though). He explained to me that there is a difference between being lean and weighing less.. Being lean does not essentially mean you have lost weight. It puzzles me as to how you have shrink in size and yet the scale wont budge!  He gave a long and gruesome explanation about muscle and fat, their differences and how converting your fat to muscle should be your ultimate goal. Build muscle and that burns more cals.. sounds great.. but I don't want to build muscle.. all I want is to loose weight.. I don't want to train to go win a body builder's title.. really.. I DON'T! (Apparently that's the part he found funny). It so happens that when you say "build muscle" it doesn't mean you become a giant ass body builder.. who would have thunk! He asked me to choose what I want.. to look leaner and toned or to weigh less! I still can't accept that they mean different things and I guess after this "enlightenment".. I am not sure what I want.. yet..

How much have I lost...

If you are expecting me to post numbers and claim how much I have lost.. well.. I am not! I guess its obvious at this point that I haven't lost much.. and so the frustration and confusion and disappointment etc etc.. but I did shrink sizes.. does that count? I dunno!

What will I do now..

Honestly, at this point..I really need to sit down and think what is it that I want really.. look lean or weigh less.. (How on earth can they be different!!!!!). I know one thing for sure... I am not going to stop what I started. I will workout just as religiously as I was.. except that I would balance out both weight training and cardio. End of the day.. I am human.. and I want both things.. why should I choose and settle for one ;)

As far as my diet is concerned.. I have such major plans for Christmas and New Year's that I can't afford to indulge now. So, am stocking my pantry with "healthy" food options.. 

Biggest realization: Loosing weight is not for the weak heart.. It requires a lot of patience and every single pound lost is an achievement.. If there are any of you.. who are struggling just as I am..then.. pls.. don't give up.. If I can manage to do it.. anyone can.. (yes..I am that lazy ;) )